What do you mean? (4/6/09)

from the old Andy Warhol flick: HEAT

"what do you mean, what do I mean? what I say is what I mean"

as spoken by Silvia Myles

as for myself,
what I say is not what I mean. What I do is what I mean.

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Never exactly what I say. My husband and I have heartfelt discussions over our Venus/Mars differences in communications styles. He's far too abrupt and direct. I feel PROGRAMMED as a woman to soften most of what I say. I rarely go for the juglar. I praise or compliment, then correct or admonish. "A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down."

For instance, "I'll say, TThe phrasing here is beautiful, but stronger transitions would help the flow." What I mean is, "Your writing is chaotic and nonsensical."

What I say, "I really like that shirt on you, but the pants aren't quite right."
What I mean is..."WTF, did you even look in the mirror?"

I go out of my way to avoid giving offense, and what I end up doing is being indirect and "mushy."

Mike just jumps right in and says evil cruel direct spiteful soul crushing simple truths like, "You're still not doing it right." When in truth, goddamnit, I'm still not doing it right even though I'm trying. I want is a band playing my theme song and him to bow before my feet in awe at my effort...not my results. How dare he just cut to the chase?

So, we've agreed, he's not my girlfriend.

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I suppose that's part of the problem, I'm not sure, or not willing to commit.

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I mean everything and nothing. I know that I don't know what I think I know. No! No! That's not what I mean. I mean love, hate, joy, sorrow, clarity, confusion, respect, contempt, and mostly humility.

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huh?...what do you mean??

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If you didn't 'get it' the first time ... not gonna 'splain again!

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Not exactly sure. It is usually clear after I do it and then I know what I mean. It can be funny to watch what I try to do and then what actually happens. Like now for example....ha-ha!!

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That would be giving it away. The idea is to allow the play between the thing and the idea so you can can make your journey to the discovery what you think it means. Don't we all exist in a state of translation? Ex. I snet out this poem about two little kids and a mom sitting at a table in a cafe making up a story. Everyone thinks I am reporting an event. I received copious comment about my observational skills, when almost the entire poem was fabricated by me. Until now I'm the only one who knew this. Meaning, reality, truth, poof..........

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hmph. that's the way the h and the m ssay \\\\\ to the 'f' because after it's gone, it gets con_using. when that occurs, the way we communicate will be 'stunte_'. is that to be a verb, and adjective, or a noun? the multiplication of 2, as we found out from JD, is pertinient: always inclining yet diligently vacating the space so to take part in the 'summation'. the 'voice' that culminates is the one with the most of the unstable activity in the Mind. the veil has a clear entry point, i rejoined my Thoughts a few nights ago (it was extremely aristotelian (in the dantian sense) so it's not good to keep heading that way. if you see the bullies, the kids of privelage, and the sidewalk 'champs' mention this:
'your mind isn't hiding, youn one.' - G.
(the 'g' can be anything - from a rluer to an eraser squirrel)
and when i say 'nervous' as in 'anxious there in former to confidence and now prior so to keep the 'clampensian' effort of the modern boy leaning. i didn't have the heart to say.
as for the soul - let it go. sell it. get rid of it's sillyness and constant overstating of itself. self - hah - as in which there, huh?
also, does anyone have satan's address? i need to pick up some mail and drop of my thesis.
ps.s.s.sSs - sexually speaking i've been heating up my main ingredients. can someone tell me how they make condoms? i don't remember them and, gosh, it'd be a shame if i got the sex laws wrong, huh?
oh - the computer smithsiansing banterically ballanced will surely get the call to 'ascend'.
ahahahahahahahahahahazahamerica.com

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I mean... I need space.
I mean... I feel scared
I mean... I feel overwhelmed
I mean... I'm not sure it will work
I mean ...I really want it to
I mean....to set a boundary
but that is not what I said.

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What I say but more realistically what I do.

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I mean what I say and I say what I mean

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Huh? Is it me or do these last several questions seem more arcane than usual? What do you mean, what do I mean?

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I try not to. Mean people suck.

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Sometimes my prayers, mostly my concern, often my fear, hopefully my faith.

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I am not sure yet. I don't always believe what I mean.

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Usually what I say or write though clarification may sometimes be needed.

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I says what I means and I means what I says.

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What I say. Unfortunately this is not always true. I have a tendency to say things other than what I mean if I think saying what I really feel will cause problems....

And mine...

"I mean to misbehave."