Feelin s0me1 warm energy.
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This guy that I have a crush on......;) (sigh)
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performing on stage, doing something I don't want to do
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Not much lately. It's usually a phenomena I only experience at the start of a relationship.
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Cliffs, the views from the top of the tall buildings, asking for a first date, and stepping on stage to perform in front of an audience.
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A telephone call from my ex-wife (bad butterflies).
A very nice sexy-looking lady (good butterflies).
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I'm 55 years old. I stopped getting butterflies when I was about 26. I really don't think I'm missing out on anything, either.
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Public speaking...that moment right before I am going to teach a class...
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[my son] says: before soccer game, briefly
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Talking to a crush.
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Being around my teacher. Relating to someone I'm attracted to. The dharma.
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My cacoons made of fear! Something beautiful always surprises me when the fear cacoons finally open and I get to see something really cool come out of them.
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How do you tell someone you love them?
It seems quite easy really; you simply
stand before the beloved, and
become transparent to the moment,
open your mouth and exhale your soul.
Three little words, a perfect equation:
you and I conjoined by a verb.
Three little words and you would think
they could seed vast golden fields
for one with the special gift for words.
But for some they are like the burdens
of the damned in Tartarus, those words.
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Well there are good butterflies and bad butterlies (moths maybe, hee hee). The good butterflies: going on the upswing of a roller coaster, talking about getting married, starting my doctoral program, the scientist meetings for my Fellowship.
Moths: school bills, hurricane season is upon us ( I live in New Orleans), WTF to do with my 401K, niece walking home from school for the first time without an adult (she'll be with a friend, but two 9 year olds do not equal one capable adult brain or physical strength), my boyfriend's back and hip pain.
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Lately it's thinking about primitive yet sensual sex like being worshiped and dominated in the same breath down sucking and fucking with a fixated intensity on souls: lending itself to nearly obsessive but not impulsive intimacy. and then also kissing innocently. which also makes me nostalgic, dammit.
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Fear and excitement. My body has the same chemical reaction to both of those emotions, although excitement has a much happier slant to it than fear does.
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girls!
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Performing in front of a crowd, still.
Talking to a woman whom I find attractive, still - in my 50s.
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When we're laying in bed at 5 AM telling each other stories and I think of how lucky I am to get to see him at his most comfortable, most open times. When I realize that this frustrating, young guy may be the one for me even if we're not at that point where we are right for each other. The thought that someday we'll know who the other is, and look at each other and smile in a bed that belongs to both of us.
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men
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my girlfriend. every time I look at her I feel all shy and get butterflies in my tummy.
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Caterpillars, silly!
Tummy butterflies hatch from excitement of performing before a large audience, job interviews for jobs I actually want, skiing new terrain or under harsh conditions (icy, for instance). I've had butterflies for hours skiing ungroomed steeps. Experience is the best cure for butterflies, but I rather enjoy having them now and again.
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The beginning of a new chapter in life...
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knowing that someday in the future i have to return to my distant wife renewed and fall in love again holding a secret that we had to keep from everyone so that the love we fall into Works. something like that. and knowing about what life with kids will be like without the constancy of authority.
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A few things come to mind ...
A first date/approaching a cute/hot woman.
A job interview.
Getting feedback on my writing.
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Momma and Poppa Butterfly.
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And mine...
Dating
Diarrhea
Roller coasters
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