I'm also sometimes compulsive about ambition. Trying hard, then giving up. trying hard, then giving up.
I'm compulsive about procrastination.
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what am I NOT compulsive about?...OK, let's see...I am compulsively late. I am always on-time for the things in life that won't wait....i.e. planes, trains, and job interviews......but everything else, I am usually late. The old story is that it doesnt REALLY matter if I'm late......I think I need to change the story.....It DOES matter.
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I always make double-sure the stove is off when I leave home. Too many times I've had to turn my car around and go back home just to make sure I hadn't accidentally incinerated my house.
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Making lists. Ha!
neatness and order in my home
crushes
bedtime rituals
morning coffee
vitamins
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chocolate
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I don't think anything I do rises to the level of compulsion. I am fastidious about a few things...weeding, deadheading spent flowers, making my bed every day, brushing my teeth. But even those things...I'm not so fastidious that I would be late for something in order to do them first. Except maybe brushing teeth.
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Checking locks and my hair.
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answering these weekly questions.
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A LOT more than I should like to admit. In the interest of not disturbing myself or others further, it's probably best that I not talk more about it.
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I apply and reapply lip balm continually throughout the day.
I find it hard but not impossible to watch a DVD without eating microwave popcorn.
I check my email every ten minutes, on average.
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About always looking my best. At 37, living in the gay world it seems life sets you aside for the new young ones, but I'd rather be older and hot, than younger and not so much. I'm compulsive about my body image.
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Nothing yet everything... It's annoying
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Everything. Seriously.
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Anything that brings me some modicum of pleasure, most especially anything sweet. Also chocolate!
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An easier, shorter answer would be what am I Not compulsive about. Like...um...that one thing...
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answering these questions
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Just about anything. Seems like lately my little brain will lock onto something and won't let go! I find myself trying to go to bed late at night and then the great idea that I should "clean up" my Inbox on e-mail, and then blamo, I am locked in, until everything is finally dealt with. Or, I will be looking around my jobsite and I can't start working until I have done a thorough clean up, even though I know that cleaning is just going to be reapeated in a few hours. But, usually no harm, so no foul. I just roll with it....
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cleaning the kitchen.
making the bed in the morning
coffee
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Getting to work on time. When I was 19, I worked security in a building on New Montgomery, and I was routinely 3-5 minutes late. At the time I didn't think much of it, until the person I was taking over for made a complaint and I was transferred. It made me realize how rude it was for someone to have to wait around for me every day because I couldn't get there 5-10 minutes early so he could update me on the goings on and he could still leave at his scheduled time. Now being late is one of my biggest pet peeves. Me being late. Others being late on occasion is fine, as long as it's not all the time. I understand traffic and public transportation issues. I generally will give myself an extra 20-30 minutes because I'd rather be early and read my book than feel like I'm rushing to get somewhere on time.
I do have one friend, however, who is always late. 15-30 minutes every time, sometimes more. So, I just plan on it with her. If she's picking me up, I know I have an extra bit of time to get ready. If I'm meeting her somewhere, I don't worry about getting there on time. If we're headed for dinner club, I go on my own because I don't want to be late because of her, even if it's inconvenient to get to. It's just too stressful for me. To me it tells me that person thinks their time is more important than my time. It expresses arrogance to me.
Okay, rant over :-)!
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hand washing. I wash my hands about 40x daily.
saying I'm sorry. clearing my throat. checking that the oven is off.
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any thing consumable, like food and the drink. affection for the sake of crush crutches, for the sake of does he like me's in the world/ I wonder if being fake is trying to think about yourself through the eyes of other people and what it's like to not trust yourself and because you don't, you can't really trust any one else either. (So the entire action is circular and defunct of any purpose. Hello, my name is and I indulge in distraction. and call it novel) I think a lot about trust and feeling safe. I think that no person can ever make me feel safe, so perhaps instead of safe all I can learn to be is free. Freedom to me is the liberation of compulsion and that is a whole life process...never complete, never resolved. my compulsion to yearn for feelings of safety is at best some juvenile attempt to avoid the truth of life, which is that nothing lasts, nothing desired or yearned after brings fulfillment, the base of primitive thinking is chasing after safety in the the things that so obviously teach us each time that no peace comes in surrounding or indulging these compulsions, these thoughts, and all time is wasted in avoiding freedom. My freedom is knowing no safety so with death on my heels I meet the life I have and be thankful for the moments I am free of compulsion, for there are always only moments.
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anything I like
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Cheese Doodles -- how can you stop?
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And mine...
Lip balm. If I don't have it with me when I go out, I usually stop somewhere and buy it. It has to be a certain brand. I must have at least 10 tubes of it in use at any given time.
And, of course, the QOTW.
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