(Photo by Alecs)intimacy
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sleep. really good sex. libras with some scorpio in them or vice
versa. flourless chocolate cake. gluten free anything. cycling.
running long distances. long hair. writing novels, painting, showing
my work, caffeine, success, learning stuff, talking to straight guys
over 30. not dating. tattoos. skateboards. etc.
and lavalamps!
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planning a vacation. doing the vacation research. planning the flight, hotel,
accommodations, transportation....and of course the places I / we will eat....researching the restaurants, the museums (if applicable), the sights,
and the places the locals go.
and I love playing "travel agent" for myself by booking my own flights. Yes......Getting outta dodge and going on VACATION turns me on.
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Oh so many things!
Hee hee hee....
I dare not say as to not offend the sensibilities of the readers.
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ugh. I am tired of being too excited.
Ok, seriously...yoga excites me!
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1)Getting slowly toward the future that I have been planning and wishing for for so long. (exciting and SCARY!!!)
2)Barackobamamania (are YOU ready for change?)
3)Getting new dresses
4)Still and always watching my sister in the throws of an awesome violin solo. Whew! Still gives me chills!!! I get to this place where I almost want to cry and yet I'm on the edge of my seat!
5) When I get to where I parked my bike and she's still there! (got the last one stolen, still a little raw)
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hearing truth to power being spoken.
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my kids, my girl, the ocean, opportunity, fear
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when i make a new friend, or when i know i'm going to travel to a beautiful place or see some old friends that i haven't seen in a while.
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People
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novelty
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1977 Punk Rock
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Rafting Class IV rapids. Frightening and exhilarating.
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-the 3 jewels!
-my insane, debilitating, years-long depression? kicking it to the curb by giving up sugar!
-the new battlestar frakkin' galactica!
-writing
-knowing that even when i'm stressed/pissed/sad/freaking out that suffering is *optional*
-kitties!
-collages
-flying
-doing the online web work that i do
-art
-music
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Lately, knitting, news of my niece and her partner getting married (next week on the top of Twin Peaks), expecting a new grand-nephew (late August), and attening my 45th high school reunion (can't wait to see which guys still have hair and which gals still have waists)!
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Finding out that I inherited some money...when I need it the most.
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Women's pro football here in Seattle, the undefeated Seattle Majestics.
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In a less-fulfilling way, fantasy, flirting and intrigue. In a more fulfilling way, being near Amma, some art (esp. Indian calendar/diety art!), the idea that maybe, just maybe, Amma wants amazing and wonderful things for me, if only I could step the fuck out of the way.
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MB; a great golf shot; Major PGA golf tournaments; NFL football (Carolina Panthers); Super Bowl; Cooking something special/new; A nice looking lady; Winston and Wooster; a well-groomed garden; good music; computers; a real wood fire in my oversized fireplace; fireworks; my XKE and my XKR; fishing; and more!
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A good piece of cheesecake... let's face it, a bad piece excites me too!!!!
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I went through a break up last week. Normally I would walk around embracing my abandonment and spare time with bouts of self pity and slight tendency toward self destructive actions in the heart of rock n roll. So naturally, The first day single I did. Unfortunately for me I found that strip clubs after gigs and my ol' Irish band mates had lost their eclipsing charm...suddenly before my eyes borrowing the dreary seat of midlife crises surrounded around a sea of paid naked birds clacking around in plastic platforms, was (gasp) disco. and it says in the book of rock n roll, "thou shalt not practice disco for nothing good may cometh of it." Now where was I to find my excitement? My cheap thrills and temporary kicks? Had I out grown my vague tendency toward self destruction? Indeed, friends, I had. So a new day of sorrow sulking and sympathy fishing was born. But then (as life is notoriously funny) a gift of advice came to my pocket in the form of a list. An old salty sea dog (a bay fisherman and part time bar patron) came in to my bar and listened to my woes. Ladies, listen up. His unusual advice was music to my deprived ears. After incredible attention, he reached in to his pocket and pulled out a pen and paper, and on this he wrote:
Too Due List:
1. sky dive
2. go kayaking
3. gourmet cooking/ learn to prepare sushi
4. learn a language
5. go ice skating
6. redecorate your apt.
7. plant a garden or buy a plant
8. ride a moped around the city
9. ride a bike through out the park
10. get a massage
11. travel to an exotic country
12. read a trashy book in the park
13. paint
14. go salsa dancing
15. see a documentary
16. go to a cafe and order dessert and espresso
17. write
18. learn an instrument
19. audition for a play or a commercial
20. see a play or the opera
21. go to a festival and dance in public
22. go sailing
23. go to see frida exhibit
24. Dress classy but also sexy and sophisticated every single day.
After reading this list, (he said sky diving puts it all into perspective better then months of therapy) I was had. I try and do one thing on the list each day (He said I wasn't aloud to think about the guy who broke up with me for at least one week in order to have a clearer perspective). He said that to hell with rock n roll, start living, girl. Life is short.
In this week I have dressed well every day, I have done some thing incredibly exciting. I have been sober and healthy, and I have fallen in love with life again. I carry the too due list with me in my wallet to remind myself that I can make myself happy. And with this confidence, all kinds of different men from every walk of life are asking me out, I have had awesome conversations with people, and I feel independent and free.
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A healthy mammogram.
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1. Penguins getting eaten by seals. What can I say, I don't like penguins.
2. Motorcycle rides on curvy roads or straight over 120 MPH with someone riding bitch holding me.
3. Rollercoasters multiple times in a row.
4. Watching the sunset on the beach on a warm night, campfire and food, clam bake, lobster boil, and holding someone in my arms and barely speaking.
5. Learning to stroke and trying to connect to someones energy.
6. Holding someone at the peek before cresting as long as possible while having sex.
7. Finding a solution to the problem no one else can solve in math or science.
8. Trying to figure out a solution to where all the Dark Matter is, that is locking gravitational rotation speeds in spiral galaxies.
8. Sex in public or forbidden places.
9. Hacking into .gov database systems just to look around.
10. Forwarding someones mail I hate to Alaska.
11. Peeking simultaneously.
12. Making food a sexual experience. Gormet food. Real foody place, or something simpler i.e. A whole Lobster cracked open and letting the drawn butter drip down the side of your mouth while someone catches it with their lobster and eats it.
13. Getting into a bar fight.
14. Skydiving.
15. Target practice at a firing range.
16. Being not in control.
17. Someone that can beat me in Poker or Pool.
18. The Opera.
19. Watching someone sexy walk by, them smiling, and then watching the winks of their ass after they pass me, and fade into the distance.
20. Writing something I find worthy afterwards while reading it.
21. Doing stand-up.
22. Performing at a poetry slam.
23. The smile of someone who loves me.
24. Watching a graet movie like Brazil, The Host, Blade Runner, Tampopo, Baraka, The Usual Suspects, Enemy at the Gates, The Illusionist, Fight Club, etc...
25. Deep sea fishing.
And the list goes on...
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You! People. Sunlight. Not a lot. Forgetting my head. Seeing an old relative. Or an old friend. Reconnecting. Going on a trip. Communication. Eyes. Connecting with a book. Feeling a part of a character or THE SAME as a character. Relaxing and noticing I don't have to do life and that EVERYTHING is ecstasy. And then CRASH! Excitement for me comes in inspired bursts and I don't know well enough how to muster it on my own..! I guess I could pretend I am traveling, or another character.
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Slipping a wrench off something I am trying to loosen. I almost get anry.
Riding too fast in the city on two wheeled contraptions. I almost get humbled.
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My work, realizing I can change the way I think, travel.....
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Sweet or salty food, sexual communication, great rock and roll.
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And mine...
When a man to whom I am attracted puts his hands in my hair, bicycling, steak, sex, making a connection with a new client, talking about how to sell more effectively and showing others how to do it, newness.
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