Who do you let hurt you? (12/7/08)

i think nobody except me. I allow myself to hurt me, and when I allow others that is the same thing, really.

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No one

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Aw, dudette, I misread that question. I thought you asked "what" i let hurt me. can i have a redo?

"Who do you let hurt you?":

Whoever's in the mirror when I want to hurt myself.

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people I admire, love or in power with my pay check

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The A-hole drivers out there, that drive with there heads up their ass. They rob me of my serenity. And I usually end up hurting myself more than anyone else. I even almost lost a finger on the table saw! I still haven't forgiven myself for that one.

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My mother. It takes too much time, effort, and anger to try and stop her.

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Me , Myself, and I.

I am unlearning what I learned early in life. I internalized myriad negative messages and then believed the lies and then allowed myself to experience marginalization. Now I am externalizing , exposing, and relinquishing the old messages and converting that energy into a positive force on the planet thru writing, recovery, and telling the truth. Unfortunately, I'm still at the effect of self-harm along the way.

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This week, God.......

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My adult children...I force myself to remain open and available to them. I do have firm boundaries about $ and assistance, but that doesn't stop me from hurting watching them struggle. The serenity prayer helps a lot.

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those i love

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My roller derby teammates. When they hit me hard I'm happy 'cause I know it makes us both better players. I'm proud of my bruises.

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After Prop. 8, no one and nothing ever again.

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Cigarettes, drugs, and easy women

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people from my past. it's hard to reunite with people who knew very different sides and aspects of you and not let old patterns replay, even though in present time it's kind of, well, gone...

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My passivity.

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no one

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boyfriends

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Myself more than anyone else. Self sabotage is a dangerous thing!

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my cat can scratch me and i love her desperately anyway.

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I try very hard not to let anyone hurt me, but you know what they say about the ones you love and love you!

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The nurse who zaps my soon-to-be-former tattoo with a Q-switched YAG laser.
That's pretty much it, at least physically.
I'm working on the emotional piece, but sometimes some pain gets through there too.

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I'm not sure about "letting" anyone hurt me; tho everyone is free to try of they so desire.

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it's not hurt. it's trying harder than hell not to remember.

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Oh gosh, it's all about my frame of mind. In a good one, I'm so objective, I take nothing personally, and I worry only about my own feelings and behavior (even when sometimes they need to be pointed out to me in order for me to know them).

In a bad frame of mind, everything's about me, and everyone can hurt me, everyone can trigger a barrage of doubt and self-loathing.

I'm embarrassed that so many years of therapy, sobriety, studying and working in psychology/psychoanalysis/human development/relationships, and I still can't quite figure out what puts me in a bad frame of mind and what puts me in a good one.

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I'd like to think NO ONE ... but in my heart I know ... anyone who 'wants' to hurt me ... can

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Me. Sad but true. Not mentally, or in a physical way most might think of, but by sabotaging my own goals on becoming a healthier person. I'm working on it, though, and getting better all the time :-).

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Too many people. My vulnerability knows no bounds....

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That which hurts. Trying to protect my true feelings is spiritual suicide.

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The new, the unknown, the not experienced. Isn't pain a lesson one learns from, not to do that again. Makes me think of a quote by Mark Twain, that I paraphrased:

Paraphrasing Twain

A man who
carries a cat

carries it
by the tail
learns a very
valuable lesson

Chances are
he will carry
nary a cat
that way again

But if he wants to
I say let him
it's not easy
to be eccentric

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I'm very careful around the people whom I care about so I give them very little opportunity to hurt me, even if I thought they would. My ex-wife has some of that power left but it wains with each passing year and with every argument we have over what to do about kids, etc. And once the boys are legal age, I don't expect to have much communication with her at all. I really don't like her very much any more and that reduces her power to hurt me. My family of origin lives far away and I rarely hear from them and that, in general, hurts me a little. It seems because I moved away to a different place, I have all of the responsibility of keeping in touch. My parents are dead so they have lost the ability to hurt me.
When it comes down to it, I am the one who hurts myself the worst and the most often. I am incredibly hard on myself on a number of levels. I have convinced myself that I am a social loser and that hurts every aspect of my life. I long for things that I fear I will never have and that hurts me. I seem unable to accept myself for what I am, which others may say is a decent sensitive person. But I shun that and so suffer probably the the worst hurt possible at my own hands.

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And mine...

People with whom I share a lot of love.